I heard from a person who said that he would try to look at this, because his fiancée had cerebral palsy. While I have worked with a number of individuals with cerebral palsy over the years, I do not know a great deal about the condition. However, this reminded me of one of my “soapbox” issues, how individuals with disabilities are treated. While they generally are treated poorly to some extent, some groups tend to be treated more poorly. Individuals with cerebral palsy and epilepsy are two examples in my opinion. Many people “freak-out” if they are around someone who has a seizure. People also tend to assume that individuals with these conditions have other characteristics, low intelligence, or other problems which may not be true.
If the individual is with another person it is not uncommon for people to talk to the second person as if the person with the disability is not there or is not capable of understanding. “What would they like to order, etc.?” This happens a lot with people who use wheel chairs. I know a man who graduated from one of the military academies. He is very intelligent, went back to school after an accident and obtained his law degree. He is paralyzed in both legs and uses a wheelchair. He still goes skiing. He climbed (?) went to the base camp at Mount Everest, which I am told is a very difficult task. Yet he encounters people who will talk to his wife or whomever is with him as if he is not there. They do not take time to try to interact with him first and get to know him as a person.
Many times I believe that people are not trying to be rude or thoughtless. They just do not know how to act and what appropriate behavior is. While there are programs to increase disability awareness and to understand appropriate behavior toward individuals with disabilities, most of us are now aware of such training and information. Many times individuals and their families do not speak up, like they should for a variety of reasons.
Sometime, I will write about people first language. The concept is that a person is a person first. Many times we try to label people and then draw conclusions based on stereotypes. Thinking in and talking in people first terms is a start in moving toward more appropriate behavior.
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2 comments:
These wrongheaded assumptions and behaviors are all too common. Parents of children with disabilites face a similar attitude--they are often judged as bad parents when their child "acts out" in a public place. People don't even think that it might be related to a disability, or how great their efforts to give the child the opportunity to be in that community setting, or whether the child is just having a bad day (as all kids do sometimes), or whether the child is reacting to an unfriendly or unaccommodating environment. And sometimes they are even judged simply for bringing their child to a community setting.
Excellent point, Matt.
I have worked with a number of parents over the years who mentioned this specific problem. Many parents have to take their child with them to stores, etc. Many expressed the stress that they feel, not knowing how the child will react, not knowing how others will view their child and any actions that the parent takes. Even appropriate actions by the parents are often seen as inappropriate by the "average" person, because they do not know what is appropriate actions for that child's situation.
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